Don’t Ever Put Down The Pen!

January 4, 2008

A Soldier’s Story: Sgt. John Fuller

“If it hadn’t been for the Yellow Ribbon Fund I don’t know where John would end up right now.” Susan Williams, mother of Sgt. John Fuller, a young California National Guardsman wounded in Iraq, spoke these words in a story aired by Fox News on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

View John’s inspirational story and how the Yellow Ribbon Fund helped in his recovery:

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As many of you know, Christy, Marti, Kevin and I have chosen The Yellow Ribbon Fund to honor Scott’s wish that we support wounded soldiers and their families. This story is a wonderful example of the work they do and the families they help. On the Yellow Ribbon Fund website, you will find many ways to help other than donations. They need volunteers, mentors, tickets to sports events and just anybody who wants to help a vet and his family enjoy a normal bit of life.

Happy New Year to everyone!

December 22, 2007

Patriots and Families

On Tuesday, Marti, her brother Roy and I traveled to the State House in Annapolis at the invitation of Governor Martin O’Malley. It was a bright and frigid day in December, the first sunny day in many weeks. Our son Scott was to receive the Patriot Medal Award in honor of Maryland’s fallen heroes. In addition to Scott, there were 25 others who were to receive the award. Soldiers, Airmen, Sailors, Marines, Firefighters. Police and Paramedics were honored that day. All gave their lives so we can live the way we do.

 

Patriot Award Ceremony

I noticed that among the names in the program was Sgt. Princess Samuels, 22, of Mitchellville, Maryland. She was assigned to Headquarters and Headquarters Troop, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 1st Cavalry Division, Fort Hood, Texas. She was killed in hostile action in Taji four days after Scott died. I remember reading in the Metro section about her service at Arlington. It was just a few days after Scott’s service in August and the images and emotions of that day are still fresh in my mind and heart. I know how the family felt. So many people don’t and that’s OK, but I know what her parents were feeling.
When Princess’s name was called we watched to see which of her family would be there. A lone, pretty woman rose and accepted the medal and posed for the photo. After the awards ceremony the Governor invited everyone to enjoy some refreshments and meet the families of the other honorees. I stood and looked around for the woman so I could speak to her and saw Marti already heading in her direction. Separately we were both thinking the same thing, we do that a lot. The emotions of that day at Arlington rushed back to all of us as Marti took her hand, introduced herself and explained that Scott and Princess are beside each other at Arlington. The lady told us that she was Princess’ Aunt, and that she had promised herself that she wouldn’t cry, but none of us quite made it. We promised to “say hello” to Princess whenever we go to sit and visit with Scott. They are now neighbors forever in the garden we never wanted them in.

 

Princess Samuels

 

Blogging, Civility and Merry Christmas

Filed under: Thoughts..., Uncategorized — Ed Kirkpatrick @ 9:38 am
Tags: , , ,

I am new to blogging. I am also late to blogging. So, to catch up, I have been wandering, exploring the “blogoshpere” looking and reading and being pleasantly amazed. The great thing about this is that here it is a place ( is it really a place?) where people who want to share or exchange ideas, recipes or just discover new shades of humanity can do just that. Blogging has given more of us a wonderfully democratic platform of opportunity, a voice that is not dependent upon the permissions of others to raise and raise it some do. Everything from pith to pornography, but there is smoke coming out of the dragon’s cave.

And so, I am also despairingly amazed. I discovered a place where hate and vituperation are proliferating. Right Wing nuts, Left Wing nuts, Middle Wing nuts. In this world it is hard to express an opinion without drawing the fire of someone who disagrees with it. That’s OK, but very often that disagreement is expressed bluntly by a hateful attack upon the writer. The best rules for discussion, Civility and Respect, no longer apply. Rants of screaming derision, slander, pomposity and arrogance, hateful attitudes that are all way too common in today’s world are also common here. Apparently the weapon of choice for these intellects is the blunt instrument of hot, turgid rhetoric.

When did we lose the ability to have a civil conversation of disagreement? Today there is little requirement for politeness, no respect for the opinions of others who are strangers. Civility, which used to be the presumption is on a losing streak. If we are to regain our civility, we must as a species and as a society put this compulsion, (it is a compulsion, hate is not the result of reason) aside and learn to tolerate our differences. Toleration is not the same as liking something or agreeing with everybody. It is simply toleration. It is living with an idea that you might not choose to think or an action that you might not take yourself. Toleration does not mean anarchy or lawlessness but rather it is the hallmark of a civil society. Civil society demands politeness, kindness and respect in all things. Face to face it is so much easier to be friendly, but behind the anonymity of the internet it is so much easier to not be. When looking someone in the eye it is much harder to differentiate, to hate, to accuse, to belittle, to defame him. It is so easy when one can hide in the ether, that is why there is so much of it here.

I like people. I like strangers. My wife, Marti, will tell you I stop and talk to anyone on the street if given half a chance. To me, everyone is fair game for a pleasant or humorous remark. Taking the high road always means a climb uphill, but the view is superior. So while you are out shopping this Christmas season listening to the carols or enjoying the company of officemates, or friends and family, even a stranger for that matter look into their eyes and pay attention to what you see. Smile at them, touch them, enjoy them. Share your humanity and say thank you or even, “I love you.”

It may not yet be too late and it is contagious. That’s a good thing.

Merry Christmas!

November 11, 2007

The First Time There….

We spent the morning at Arlington National Cemetery with Scott on his birthday. It was crisp, sunny and very quiet when we arrived. It is a special day at ANC and there were extra guards to help guide visitors through. While sitting in a long line at the entrance to the Visitor Center, a guard noticed our special pass and waved us out of line and through the main gate, no waiting today.

Arriving just after 10 o’clock , we were among the first to Section 60, a newArlington section set aside for soldiers from the Iraq and Afghanistan wars. We walked out among all the new bright white stones trying to orient ourselves. We had not been here since the service in August. Steadily, around us, friends and family of the soldiers buried here began to arrive carrying flowers, blankets, special things that the soldier loved in life. As they began to gather around several of the many stones, a mother’s sobs carried across the air. As someone held her and spoke to her some words of remembrance, the sobs turned to a smile and then laughter.

Picnic-like, we were all standing around in groups crying, laughing, passing a bottle of something special drinking from it and remembering. Christy, Kevin, Marti and I shared a couple of rounds of Macallan from a flask, Scott’s favorite. We shared some with Scott as well. A group of nine soldiers from one of the Airborne units dressed in their Class A’s gathered. They all greeted each other with strong hugs and then knelt around their buddy’s stone for a group photo. One of the young men walked with a cane and carried a long scar under his beret, perhaps reminders of how his friend came to be laying there.

All in all, this was a somber but beautiful morning and it occurred to me that it was also the first Veterans’ Day for many of these families with loved ones buried here. Our sons and daughters, husbands and wives, fathers and mothers are now neighbors. Perhaps over the coming years we might too grow to know one another on this day and share something of this terrible twist in life to which we have come.

Then, from the Wreath Ceremony at the Tomb of the Unknowns we heard a 21 gun salute with field cannons just as it was at my great-uncle’s service here at Arlington seventeen years ago this December.

21 deep booming waves of honor sweeping over all who lay there and those that visit them. 21 notes, Taps.

Scott had been with me that day too. It was time to go.

November 10, 2007

Veterans’ Day, November 11, 2007

Tomorrow, Sunday, November 11th, 2007, Veterans Day, is my son Scott’s 27th birthday. I always say his mother became a veteran that day.

The last time we instant messaged, he was sitting poolside in the Green-zone, on the tail end of a four day R&R, sipping a non-alcoholic beer and typing away on his laptop tryingscott-deployment-day-with-border.jpg not to think too hard about the heat and war and how much he missed his lovely wife and new home in Savannah. We messaged for almost two hours.

 

For some reason, I did not save the session. He was killed three days later on August 11th in an Al Qaeda ambush in Arab Jabour, along with four other men, three months to the day from when he left on his second tour in Iraq and three months ago to the day before his birthday. He was a Sergeant in the 3rd Infantry and so very proud of it.

 

In the next few days and weeks as news spread of his death, we began to receive hundreds of cards, emails, phone calls and friends all expressing sympathy for our unknowable grief. Cards came in from all over the country from people who were total strangers expressing sadness and thanks for the sacrifice Scott made in our country’s name. We had personal letters from Congressmen, ours as well as others. Letters from Senators Barbara Mikulski and Benjamin Cardin of Maryland. Sen. Mikulski called our home one morning and missing me, she spoke with my son Kevin for a few moments and said she would call back later. She did and we spoke on the phone for nearly 30 minutes that morning about what had happened and what we as a country lose every time a soldier falls. She impressed me greatly with her sincerity and warmth and afterwards I reflected about what 30 minutes of a United States Senator’s time is worth and marveled that she took that time out from her schedule to just chat with a new Gold Star parent. She told me there are 90 Gold Star families in Maryland and she gave me a special phone number in her office she has reserved for Gold Star families to call if we ever needed anything from her. We also had a wonderful handwritten note from Sen. John Warner of Virginia.

 

Governor Martin O’Malley and Lieutenant Governor Anthony Brown both wrote nice letters to us and the Governor ordered the Maryland State Flag flown at half-staff over all State offices on the day of Scott’s funeral at Arlington National Cemetery, and then sent us the very flag that flew over the Statehouse that day. There were letters of condolence from other officials up and down the Army and Defense Department expressing sympathy and generous offers of help and support if we needed it.


Such honor is properly accorded the families of our fallen soldiers and it is indeed a great source of pride and comforting support to have it. Of course, we would trade it all for the pleasure of Scott’s warm smile one more time. But past that, when I think back to all the people we heard from; family, friend and strangers all over the world, there are two people Martha and I did not hear from, ever, the President and the Vice-President of the United States. The two men responsible for his being there in the first place. Now how much does that say about them?

 

Ed

November 9, 2007

Hello all!

Filed under: Uncategorized — Ed Kirkpatrick @ 2:40 pm

 

Welcome! If you have found this blog, congratulations! You may very well be the first. Leave a comment to prove it!  I have started this blog for several reasons. I have some things to say, I need a place to say them but the Washington Post won’t publish my letters. Mark Twain said the first sign of senility is writing letters to the editor, so maybe it’s just as well that I do this rather than that… in order to fend off senility that is… The second reason is for my sons, Scott and Kevin.

Scott, my oldest would have been 27 this Sunday, Veterans Day, November 11th, 2007, except he was killed in Iraq last August. He was a husband, a writer, a poet of extreme talent, a thinker, friend, son, brother and a voracious reader. Scott had an opinion on everything and was willing to passionately share it with anyone who would listen. His poetry was intense and powerful. He wrote for the spoken word and his poems were always better when he performed them. His poem, “Battle Hymn of the Republic”, ends with the admonition to all of us who care about our lives and events that shape them to, “Don’t ever put down the pen!” Thus the name and thrust of this blog. I will try to honor his instruction.

Kevin, my second and youngest son, is a tall, devilishly handsome, sensitive and funny theater geek/ninja. He is happiest haunting the catwalks focusing lights and writing lighting cues for stage productions, but you might just as easily find him sitting in his tree stand cussing those wily bucks who won’t entertain him. He also reads voraciously although he does not write (that I know of) and can generally fix anything audio/video. His room is a mess, and he drives a pick-up truck. He has two deer to his credit with the truck. The writings here of mine are a great excuse for Kev to say, “Oh Dad…. what are you thinking?”

And lastly, for my lovely and courageous wife, Martha, who for nearly 37 years has put up with me and smiled sweetly when I pontificate and suddenly forget where I was going. Marti as she is known to friends and family is an artist, like me, like Scott, like Kevin. She paints abstracts in oil, makes paper castings, cuts up her old paintings she doesn’t like anymore and makes new art with them. She is a gardener, an outdoors type and can be found usually pulling weeds in her shade garden or digging holes for new plants. Never let her loose near a nursery you will be stuck for hours. She makes absolutely without question the best damn pie in the world. But best of all, she is my friend and lover and I am always amazed at that!

So that’s that. I will soon post an essay for Veterans Day and off we blog! Please feel welcome to leave comments and suggestions. Be nice, rather be polite. Any nastiness will not be tolerated, except to illustrate how stupid some people can be if given the opportunity.

Ed

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