Every normal day now has special meanings different from just a year ago. I am always looking back a year and thinking about what I was doing or where Scott was then. Scott’s death, brought a sea-change in the way I experience any particular day. I now view my life through this backward viewing lens, I have to. This weekend is Memorial Day Weekend and everywhere there are Harley riders gathering here in Washington for the 21st Annual Rolling Thunder ride. It is truly an amazing thing to see and hear. The other evening on our way to an art reception, Marti and I were stopped at a light next to three Patriot Guard riders. We rolled down our window to tell them they had escorted our son to Arlington. In the grumble of the bikes, the words got lost, but our meaning was clear and they gave us a “Thumbs Up” and rode on.
I think this new connection to others is a gift. It has come to us out of what happened over the last year. Marti and I have bumper stickers on our cars from the days when Scott was first deployed. They tell that our son is in Iraq, that he came home and went back again, that he is Infantry, that we despise those men who sent him there, and now, that he was killed there. We have “Gold Star Family” license plates, specially issued by Maryland only to families of those who are fallen. It is odd in a way, but I feel a fierce and special pride in being a Gold Star Family. I think Marti and Kevin do too. We want others to not forget what is given to us as a nation by these brave men and women and what the cost of war really is. We are constantly approached by strangers who are sensitive about speaking but they want to express their sympathy and their gratitude for Scott’s sacrifice. There are smiles, handshakes, hugs and tears. Often we just get to talking and sharing with these new friends about our kids and lives in ways that would never ever have happened otherwise. Always a punctual person, I am now sometimes late to where I am going because I take this time to share. It is a connection that for all the terrible sadness of its cause is still, somehow, a wonderful thing to feel.
I think the openness of this sharing stems, in part, from the terrible way the Vietnam Vets were treated by some upon their return from that war. As a people we learned that it was not the men and women who were monsters, but the leaders who sent them there. Since then we as a nation have learned to “Hate the war but love the soldier”. Rolling Thunder, Harley Davidson bikes and American flag do-rags have become a symbol of that. A very American symbol.
Remember today those who went for you and did not return. Remember today, those who went for you and did return. Remember today to thank them.
Please be sure to read the comments section especially the sonnet by Pastor John Stuart.
Will be thanking Scott today….
And all the men and women in all the wars, in all the years.
And we’ll be thanking, and thinking, of you, too. They say the men and women who died for their country “gave the ultimate price.” Well so did the fathers and mothers and husbands and wives and sons and daughters and brothers and sisters and ….
Thanks for this post, and for this site. A real gift to all of us.
~ Suzanne
Comment by Suzanne — May 25, 2008 @ 9:21 am |
Memorial Day Sonnet
If Liberty means anything to me,
I will remember what my freedom cost,
By those who gave their all to keep me free,
Whose lives were sacrificed, but never lost.
I will remind myself of what they did,
And keep them dearly cherished in my heart;
Their honor never from me shall be hid
And I will know they always did their part
To save our nation and its people here,
To pledge their lives in defense of our ways,
To show that freedom always outlives fear,
And sacrifice is hallowed all our days.
If Liberty means anything to me,
I will remember those who kept me free.
© John Stuart 2008
Pastor at Erin Presbyterian Church,
Knoxville, Tennessee
Here Pastor John Stuart read the sonnet.
Comment by stushie — May 25, 2008 @ 9:41 am |
I have so much respect and admiration for you and your family. God Bless.
Comment by Jo — May 25, 2008 @ 11:39 am |
http://web.mac.com/ruthanneclare/iWeb/Ruthanne%27s%20Life%20-%20and%20all%20that%20fun%20stuff/blogerific/2AE31FB0-892C-47BD-8808-8B5F58351DB1.html
I’m remembering – i love you
Comment by ruthanne burch — May 25, 2008 @ 12:48 pm |
We were there at Arlington today to be with Scott, and it was amazing to see all of the riders out in full-force.
Comment by Linda — May 25, 2008 @ 7:53 pm |
Ed,
Yesterday at church there was a photo of Scott with a huge smile on his face while hoisting a little Iraqi child into the air. That photo captured the heart of a soldier-warrior who took time from war and gave a moment to express his love and kindness to a little child. I want to say thanks to you and Marti for raising such a fine son. Thank you for showing us such humility in your willingness to connect with others who want to understand your grief and pain. We will honor Scott’s memory today.
From the father of another 3rd ID soldier,
Gary Boys
Comment by Gary Boys — May 26, 2008 @ 7:19 am |
Memorial Day has always been special for me, but Scott’s passing makes it intensely personal. Thank you to Ed and Marti for raising such a fine man, and for showing the strength of character which allows us to find positive opportunities despite tragedy.
Comment by Brian S. Stewart — May 26, 2008 @ 9:38 am |
Once again this year I was one of those Harley Riders (and every other make you can think of) out there riding. As we waited in the Pentagon parking lots to take our turn in the ride, it is always a chance to make new freinds and hear thier stories. Veterens of many conflicts, or spouses, or children or other connections to vets. Also, as we wait in the heat of a parking lot to reflect on how easy we have it while others protect us in far worse conditions; and not just that day but many days running together. I wish there were a way to truely get most people to have even a small degree of understanding the true cost of our daily way of life and how it has been payed over and over for us. It is such a small thing to spend a few days here and there helping create a visual reminder for the general public of this sacrifice. Scott; to you and all your mates past and future, all of our salute and prayers: God Bless!
Comment by Dean Beasom — May 27, 2008 @ 11:30 am |
Thanks again for writing this blog. I keep a picture of Scott’s headstone and the copy of the details magazine with Scott’s article in it in my desk at work, and do my best to tell everyone I can about your son.
I may not have been as close to him as Sean, Bevan, Lynch, but when we did hang out he was always easy to talk to and an all-around great guy.
Take care,
Myles
Comment by Myles — May 27, 2008 @ 3:22 pm |