On Tuesday, Marti, her brother Roy and I traveled to the State House in Annapolis at the invitation of Governor Martin O’Malley. It was a bright and frigid day in December, the first sunny day in many weeks. Our son Scott was to receive the Patriot Medal Award in honor of Maryland’s fallen heroes. In addition to Scott, there were 25 others who were to receive the award. Soldiers, Airmen, Sailors, Marines, Firefighters. Police and Paramedics were honored that day. All gave their lives so we can live the way we do.
I noticed that among the names in the program was Sgt. Princess Samuels, 22, of Mitchellville, Maryland. She was assigned to Headquarters and Headquarters Troop, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 1st Cavalry Division, Fort Hood, Texas. She was killed in hostile action in Taji four days after Scott died. I remember reading in the Metro section about her service at Arlington. It was just a few days after Scott’s service in August and the images and emotions of that day are still fresh in my mind and heart. I know how the family felt. So many people don’t and that’s OK, but I know what her parents were feeling.
When Princess’s name was called we watched to see which of her family would be there. A lone, pretty woman rose and accepted the medal and posed for the photo. After the awards ceremony the Governor invited everyone to enjoy some refreshments and meet the families of the other honorees. I stood and looked around for the woman so I could speak to her and saw Marti already heading in her direction. Separately we were both thinking the same thing, we do that a lot. The emotions of that day at Arlington rushed back to all of us as Marti took her hand, introduced herself and explained that Scott and Princess are beside each other at Arlington. The lady told us that she was Princess’ Aunt, and that she had promised herself that she wouldn’t cry, but none of us quite made it. We promised to “say hello” to Princess whenever we go to sit and visit with Scott. They are now neighbors forever in the garden we never wanted them in.
December 22, 2007
Patriots and Families
Blogging, Civility and Merry Christmas
I am new to blogging. I am also late to blogging. So, to catch up, I have been wandering, exploring the “blogoshpere” looking and reading and being pleasantly amazed. The great thing about this is that here it is a place ( is it really a place?) where people who want to share or exchange ideas, recipes or just discover new shades of humanity can do just that. Blogging has given more of us a wonderfully democratic platform of opportunity, a voice that is not dependent upon the permissions of others to raise and raise it some do. Everything from pith to pornography, but there is smoke coming out of the dragon’s cave.
And so, I am also despairingly amazed. I discovered a place where hate and vituperation are proliferating. Right Wing nuts, Left Wing nuts, Middle Wing nuts. In this world it is hard to express an opinion without drawing the fire of someone who disagrees with it. That’s OK, but very often that disagreement is expressed bluntly by a hateful attack upon the writer. The best rules for discussion, Civility and Respect, no longer apply. Rants of screaming derision, slander, pomposity and arrogance, hateful attitudes that are all way too common in today’s world are also common here. Apparently the weapon of choice for these intellects is the blunt instrument of hot, turgid rhetoric.
When did we lose the ability to have a civil conversation of disagreement? Today there is little requirement for politeness, no respect for the opinions of others who are strangers. Civility, which used to be the presumption is on a losing streak. If we are to regain our civility, we must as a species and as a society put this compulsion, (it is a compulsion, hate is not the result of reason) aside and learn to tolerate our differences. Toleration is not the same as liking something or agreeing with everybody. It is simply toleration. It is living with an idea that you might not choose to think or an action that you might not take yourself. Toleration does not mean anarchy or lawlessness but rather it is the hallmark of a civil society. Civil society demands politeness, kindness and respect in all things. Face to face it is so much easier to be friendly, but behind the anonymity of the internet it is so much easier to not be. When looking someone in the eye it is much harder to differentiate, to hate, to accuse, to belittle, to defame him. It is so easy when one can hide in the ether, that is why there is so much of it here.
I like people. I like strangers. My wife, Marti, will tell you I stop and talk to anyone on the street if given half a chance. To me, everyone is fair game for a pleasant or humorous remark. Taking the high road always means a climb uphill, but the view is superior. So while you are out shopping this Christmas season listening to the carols or enjoying the company of officemates, or friends and family, even a stranger for that matter look into their eyes and pay attention to what you see. Smile at them, touch them, enjoy them. Share your humanity and say thank you or even, “I love you.”
It may not yet be too late and it is contagious. That’s a good thing.
Merry Christmas!
