My family is big on tradition. When my grandparents, Ed and Clare Jones were still alive, the Jones family would gather together at their home every Thanksgiving. When they passed we gathered at my mom’s house. We had done this for a very long time, as long as I can remember and well before that.
At their generation’s level there were five Jones siblings, a sister and four brothers and they personified what we call the “Greatest Generation”. They lived here in Washington and their families were mostly still here as well and the group as a whole was very, very close. Two of my great uncles, were graduates of West Point. Uncle Biff, was an Army football star and went on to coach the Army football team and later he took the Nebraska Cornhuskers team to the Rose bowl. His son, Cousin Larry, graduated West Point and Biff’s daughter, Barbara married Grady, a Colonel. Biff’s brother, Uncle Herb, was a year or two behind Biff and traveled the world with his army career as a Major General. My grandfather, Ed, accepted an appointment to West Point as well, but struggled with the math requirements and so went in another direction, Banking oddly enough. Sister Ruth’s son, James graduated from West Point as well and rose to Major. Donald, the middle child, pursued a successful career with the government here in Washington, raising three wonderful kids and was an avid gun collector. As a child, I was always enthralled to hear Uncle Donald talk about his guns, Uncle Herb tell his “Futt the Duck” story and then talk Washington Redskins football with Uncle Biff. The first fifty years of the Twentieth century created this group of amazing people who still inspire me by who they were and what they stood for. I stand on their shoulders every day.
There was a strong sense of family loyalty shared by these five siblings. I still feel it today. Whenever the family was together and there were always at least three occasions each year, the Fourth of July, Thanksgiving, and my grandfather’s birthday in December, it was quite a crowd and the parties were legendary. The five siblings, children and grandchildren numbered forty-seven, throw in a few in-laws plus some very close friends and that number grew to over sixty nearly every time. Naturally, as the years passed, our family grew smaller at the elder end and larger at the youthful end. We spread out over the country and world and it grew harder and harder to have everyone together. Finally, each family celebrated Thanksgiving separately and we always remembered the great family gatherings that were no more.
Going back five years, Marti, Scott, Kevin and I started a run of tough life events, and this past year has been the hardest of all. A few weeks ago while remembering those who are gone, I fondly recalled the great times our family had together. I thought the great gatherings should be revived if possible. So I decided to renew the Jones tradition and invite everyone I could reach to our home for Thanksgiving. I sent an email out to all my various cousins and extended the invitation. A day or two later I realized the enormity of what I had done and what could happen if all said, “Great idea! We’ll be there!” Fortunately, I think, these things start off slowly. But start it did.
Marti and I had nineteen people for dinner at our home this Thanksgiving, all family. Roy, her brother, said their mom’s special prayer in German and we tearfully remembered those who are not with us. In the dining room, my 1830’s Grandfather clock I inherited from my grandmother, always faithful and reliable, chiming the hour from the hallway for nearly fifty years, suddenly and mysteriously stopped ticking at precisely 12 Noon. I noticed it an hour later and stared at the still pendulum. I touched it gently. Once more grandfather tick-tocked comfortably and chimed twelve times. Somehow, somewhere, great things are still happening, I am certain of it.
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Trackposted to Blue Star Chronicles, thanks to Linkfest Haven Deluxe
November 26, 2007
Great People, Great things…. Thanksgiving Day – 2007
November 11, 2007
The First Time There….
We spent the morning at Arlington National Cemetery with Scott on his birthday. It was crisp, sunny and very quiet when we arrived. It is a special day at ANC and there were extra guards to help guide visitors through. While sitting in a long line at the entrance to the Visitor Center, a guard noticed our special pass and waved us out of line and through the main gate, no waiting today.
Arriving just after 10 o’clock , we were among the first to Section 60, a new
section set aside for soldiers from the Iraq and Afghanistan wars. We walked out among all the new bright white stones trying to orient ourselves. We had not been here since the service in August. Steadily, around us, friends and family of the soldiers buried here began to arrive carrying flowers, blankets, special things that the soldier loved in life. As they began to gather around several of the many stones, a mother’s sobs carried across the air. As someone held her and spoke to her some words of remembrance, the sobs turned to a smile and then laughter.
Picnic-like, we were all standing around in groups crying, laughing, passing a bottle of something special drinking from it and remembering. Christy, Kevin, Marti and I shared a couple of rounds of Macallan from a flask, Scott’s favorite. We shared some with Scott as well. A group of nine soldiers from one of the Airborne units dressed in their Class A’s gathered. They all greeted each other with strong hugs and then knelt around their buddy’s stone for a group photo. One of the young men walked with a cane and carried a long scar under his beret, perhaps reminders of how his friend came to be laying there.
All in all, this was a somber but beautiful morning and it occurred to me that it was also the first Veterans’ Day for many of these families with loved ones buried here. Our sons and daughters, husbands and wives, fathers and mothers are now neighbors. Perhaps over the coming years we might too grow to know one another on this day and share something of this terrible twist in life to which we have come.
Then, from the Wreath Ceremony at the Tomb of the Unknowns we heard a 21 gun salute with field cannons just as it was at my great-uncle’s service here at Arlington seventeen years ago this December.
21 deep booming waves of honor sweeping over all who lay there and those that visit them. 21 notes, Taps.
Scott had been with me that day too. It was time to go.
November 10, 2007
Veterans’ Day, November 11, 2007
Tomorrow, Sunday, November 11th, 2007, Veterans Day, is my son Scott’s 27th birthday. I always say his mother became a veteran that day.
The last time we instant messaged, he was sitting poolside in the Green-zone, on the tail end of a four day R&R, sipping a non-alcoholic beer and typing away on his laptop trying
not to think too hard about the heat and war and how much he missed his lovely wife and new home in Savannah. We messaged for almost two hours.
For some reason, I did not save the session. He was killed three days later on August 11th in an Al Qaeda ambush in Arab Jabour, along with four other men, three months to the day from when he left on his second tour in Iraq and three months ago to the day before his birthday. He was a Sergeant in the 3rd Infantry and so very proud of it.
In the next few days and weeks as news spread of his death, we began to receive hundreds of cards, emails, phone calls and friends all expressing sympathy for our unknowable grief. Cards came in from all over the country from people who were total strangers expressing sadness and thanks for the sacrifice Scott made in our country’s name. We had personal letters from Congressmen, ours as well as others. Letters from Senators Barbara Mikulski and Benjamin Cardin of Maryland. Sen. Mikulski called our home one morning and missing me, she spoke with my son Kevin for a few moments and said she would call back later. She did and we spoke on the phone for nearly 30 minutes that morning about what had happened and what we as a country lose every time a soldier falls. She impressed me greatly with her sincerity and warmth and afterwards I reflected about what 30 minutes of a United States Senator’s time is worth and marveled that she took that time out from her schedule to just chat with a new Gold Star parent. She told me there are 90 Gold Star families in Maryland and she gave me a special phone number in her office she has reserved for Gold Star families to call if we ever needed anything from her. We also had a wonderful handwritten note from Sen. John Warner of Virginia.
Governor Martin O’Malley and Lieutenant Governor Anthony Brown both wrote nice letters to us and the Governor ordered the Maryland State Flag flown at half-staff over all State offices on the day of Scott’s funeral at Arlington National Cemetery, and then sent us the very flag that flew over the Statehouse that day. There were letters of condolence from other officials up and down the Army and Defense Department expressing sympathy and generous offers of help and support if we needed it.
Such honor is properly accorded the families of our fallen soldiers and it is indeed a great source of pride and comforting support to have it. Of course, we would trade it all for the pleasure of Scott’s warm smile one more time. But past that, when I think back to all the people we heard from; family, friend and strangers all over the world, there are two people Martha and I did not hear from, ever, the President and the Vice-President of the United States. The two men responsible for his being there in the first place. Now how much does that say about them?
Ed
November 9, 2007
Hello all!
Welcome! If you have found this blog, congratulations! You may very well be the first. Leave a comment to prove it! I have started this blog for several reasons. I have some things to say, I need a place to say them but the Washington Post won’t publish my letters. Mark Twain said the first sign of senility is writing letters to the editor, so maybe it’s just as well that I do this rather than that… in order to fend off senility that is… The second reason is for my sons, Scott and Kevin.
Scott, my oldest would have been 27 this Sunday, Veterans Day, November 11th, 2007, except he was killed in Iraq last August. He was a husband, a writer, a poet of extreme talent, a thinker, friend, son, brother and a voracious reader. Scott had an opinion on everything and was willing to passionately share it with anyone who would listen. His poetry was intense and powerful. He wrote for the spoken word and his poems were always better when he performed them. His poem, “Battle Hymn of the Republic”, ends with the admonition to all of us who care about our lives and events that shape them to, “Don’t ever put down the pen!” Thus the name and thrust of this blog. I will try to honor his instruction.
Kevin, my second and youngest son, is a tall, devilishly handsome, sensitive and funny theater geek/ninja. He is happiest haunting the catwalks focusing lights and writing lighting cues for stage productions, but you might just as easily find him sitting in his tree stand cussing those wily bucks who won’t entertain him. He also reads voraciously although he does not write (that I know of) and can generally fix anything audio/video. His room is a mess, and he drives a pick-up truck. He has two deer to his credit with the truck. The writings here of mine are a great excuse for Kev to say, “Oh Dad…. what are you thinking?”
And lastly, for my lovely and courageous wife, Martha, who for nearly 37 years has put up with me and smiled sweetly when I pontificate and suddenly forget where I was going. Marti as she is known to friends and family is an artist, like me, like Scott, like Kevin. She paints abstracts in oil, makes paper castings, cuts up her old paintings she doesn’t like anymore and makes new art with them. She is a gardener, an outdoors type and can be found usually pulling weeds in her shade garden or digging holes for new plants. Never let her loose near a nursery you will be stuck for hours. She makes absolutely without question the best damn pie in the world. But best of all, she is my friend and lover and I am always amazed at that!
So that’s that. I will soon post an essay for Veterans Day and off we blog! Please feel welcome to leave comments and suggestions. Be nice, rather be polite. Any nastiness will not be tolerated, except to illustrate how stupid some people can be if given the opportunity.
Ed
